EQ Traders Corner
Cooking Class

by Niami DenMother

A wee halfling lady stands atop an overturned vegetable crate, lecturing to a small cooking class. She wields a large wooden meat tenderizer as if it was a weapon, occasionally waving it at a student for emphasis.

"So, ye want tae be cooks, lads and lasses? Cooks are the unsung heroes of any great war, as without food and drink, those brawny warriors cannae keep up their fighting strength." She smiles impishly up at a large barbarian warrior as she says this, her brown eyes glinting with merriment.

"What do ye need to bake? For the simplest of recipes, nothing more than body parts off a couple critters that are found in many low-level hunting areas ... and an oven. (Most every city has one or two ovens, if not more.) For more complex things, you'll actually need to buy some added ingredients, invest in some cookbooks, and mayhaps some cooking pans."

"I warn ye now, lads and lasses, that cooking is nae a fast road to riches." She waggles the meat tenderizer at a daydreaming student. "Rather, your rewards come in more intangible ways. Ye can feed yourselves, your family, and your friends off items that, without your expert touch, would be totally inedible. Ye can also add some extra flair to events such as weddings and the like with some sweet treat they'd be unable tae find in any shop ... and guarantee it's freshness as well. Most importantly, ye can rescue folks from the dire tedium of eating rations day in and day out." She shudders expressively at this last.

"Until I can be certain if certain foods are better for ye, and therefore last longer, than other foods, I cannae give ye proper recommendations on marketing. Such wonders as 'edible goo' sell for less to a normal (NPC) merchant than that same merchant would pay for the individual components. Other foods, such as 'fish rolls', can be sold to that merchant for more than ye'd pay for a normal food ration, and as such, ye can make a small profit. I've nae found the rhyme nor reason tae it ... yet."

"Now, ye bought yourself a cookbook, did ye lass?" Niami peers quizzically at a young elf holding a large cookbook in her arms. "I hope ye study that well and take careful notes on it. Once ye've scribed the recipes contained in it (4 recipes - 8 pages - per book, at the current time), ye no longer need the book. Ye can locker it, sell it back, or whatever ye wish with it." (ooc: you don't need the cookbooks, at all, really, as many of the starting recipes are already available when you open up your cooking container as "known" recipes, and most of the rest will be "learned" and stored for you when you make them for the first time ... but some folks like the RP aspect of it.)

"Mind ye, there are a LOT of recipe books available, and ye'll rapidly eat away at your savings ... no pun intended ... if ye buy all the books yuirself. Find a couple other would-be cooks and share the expense of the books, and the recipes! But if ye're not one of those large folks (ogres, trolls) who eat other (player) races for dinner, then stay away from any recipe books written by that 'Ghumin' feller." Niami mutters something nearly inaudible and incomprehensible about programmers and Hot & Spicy Toelings and then continues the lesson. (Note also that some of the recipes contained in the books have errors. Attempts have been made to make sure that this site's recipes page contains working recipes, not just reprints of the recipe book information.)

"The main things to remember with the recipes are the ingredients and the cooking implements needed. When in doubt, use an oven, but if it says to do it over a roasting spit, mayhaps ye'll hae better luck than I at finding one."

"Ye do know how tae use an oven, don't ye?" One timid student shakes their head and blushes. "Good grief, were ye orphaned at birth?" At the small affirmative nod, the tiny halfling turns on the motherly charm. "Ye poor lad, I be sorry. Forgive me runaway tongue. Ye'll see brick ovens, with windows in the front door of them and flames dancing inside of them hiding in odd spots in town. But for the untrained, it is sometimes hard tae tell an oven from a kiln . When in doubt, open it (stand in front of it and left click on the flames) and inhale. Ye'll be able tae tell verra quickly if it be used for baking food, clay or metals. Then ye just put the proper ingredients inside, pray tae your favorite deity, and bake (press that 'combine' button). Ye'll also find spits being sold in various spots, an' they can be used tae bake as well. Think of them as yuir own personal portable oven."

"Oh, and make sure that when they ask for a flask of water that ye use an actual flask of water, not one of those magical globes of water."

"That's all for this class, but feel free tae contact me if ye need extra tutoring."

She notes one student lagging behind. "What, ye want me tae give ye all the recipes, too? Pshaw, lad, any good cook can tell ye that experimentation is necessary. But I'll take pity on ye this much -- yuir early attempts should be something simple. Why don't ye try combining a fire beetle eye and a rat ear in that oven o' yuirs and see what comes of it?"

Image above provided/created by J. Waller of WTF Comics

Created: 2003-05-14 01:35:53          
Last Modified By: Niami Denmother          
Last Modified on: 2006-01-29 12:29:19          

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